Published: January 28, 2006 01:15 pm      

Hello, Butts County - January 11, 2006

“I just wanted to say that the bells concert was like really, really good. I hope to see again.”



“Hello, this is the Shadow. I’d just like to call in to say my heart goes out to the miners who lost their lives and also their wives and families and loved ones and the whole community over in West Virginia, and I’m so sorry. And the media really screwed up this time, just like they’ve done other times. I also want to say that George Bush is not breaking any laws by wiretapping people’s conversations going to al Queda or from al Queda to here. They’re saving our lives. He did not lie also. He has the most weapon of mass destruction on trial. I mean Iraq does. So he didn’t lie about that. He was one of the worst things about it. So I just wanted to get that opinion across, and I’m sorry for the people in West Virginia. And, oh yeah, I guess happy New Year to everybody. Shadow out.”



“Last week we had the top ten sports events for 2005. I saw football, basketball, football, tennis, golf, everything. But how ‘bout our girls’ soccer team? They did go to the playoffs.”



“Hello, Mister parts Man. I see you made the news.”



“A dress code in elementary school? Phooey. We believe every child can learn with good teachers in our school. Teachers do not have the time to make sure every child has his or her t-shirt tucked into his or her jeans. Children must be comfortable to learn. My gosh, people, let’s get real, and let our children learn and teachers do their job.”



“The rudeness of some people never fails to amaze me, especially when the ultimate insult comes from your neighbor next door. I like dogs, and I have a dog. I keep my dog penned up because I live in the city. Yet my neighbors come and take their dogs out of their yard and walk them right over to mine so that they can use the bathroom because they don’t want poop in their own yard. How rude can they be? I have grandchildren that play in my yard, and make such a mess. Then there’s the neighbor who raises pups, and lets them roam free. They come over and chew up everything at my house – bicycle tires, wires under my car, decorations on my flower garden, et cetera. What are they thinking? Do they not understand how absolutely rude that is? I hope they read this.”



“In response to the caller about the gray Grand Prix: child support is the answer when you have deadbeat dads. It’s your fault. You should be more selective of your women and the company you keep. A woo woo to you.”



“I was calling about the Hello, Butts County from last week about the best place to get child support is to get a job. Most women, or half of them, do have jobs. It’s the sorry sperm donors that don’t want to contribute their part, or spend the money.”



“Decent Americans and Europeans are not racist because they fear the conduct of radical Muslims. Honorable people have a duty to oppose ideas and conduct they judge harmful to their civilization.”



“You make great sandwiches, and you need one for your birthday.”



“Roast beef, roast beef, I love roast beef. It is good. It is never bad. It is good, good, good. Roast beef, roast beef. Roast beef, I put it on my sandwich with mayonnaise and bread. I love roast beef, roast beef, roast beef.”



“Happy New Year, Butts County. I guess Andy is letting Goober drive now. Shouldn’t he know better than that now?”



“Now that lawmakers are going back to work, maybe they can legalize gambling in Georgia.”