Published: March 29, 2006 11:43 am      

Hello, Butts County - March 8, 2006

You have 16 messages.

“I just wanted the people that took my water hose and hook ups and rake and hedge clippers to know that I’m not stupid. I know that they have been stolen, or removed from my property. And I just want to ask them to please leave the rest of my stuff alone as I bought and paid for it. Also to let them know that I am licensed to take care of myself.”



“Hello, Butts County. I just wanted to say that last week’s Hello, Butts County was the best I have read since living here thus far. Second of all, I’d like to say when is Butts County going to wake up and get these hoodlums out of the streets? I mean, ya’ll are traveling 80-miles-an-hour down Barnetts Bridge, and it’s ridiculous. Anyway, I’m a hard-working Republican, and I wish there was some casinos in this town so I could do something for crying out loud.”



“When government-run schools outlawed corporal punishment for students, this is giving the students an incentive to misbehave because in place of a good old fashioned spanking they are given three days off of school of suspension with parents working two jobs or only one parent to raise them, they are left to run free for three days because they were misbehaving. Three days of no school for being bad. What’s wrong with this picture?”



“I was reading in the newspaper about the bust that was made from I-75 and the people who were driving a car that had tinted windows. What happens when someone from out of the state passes through Butts County on the highway and they’re pulled over? They don’t know about the window tint regulation here. And if they’re pulled over can they be ticketed because they are out of state and are not up on what the Butts County, Georgia laws are? I don’t think that’s fair.”



“The music at the gas station by the truckstop - I think it’s Wilco - the music is absolutely horrible. Please change it.”



“Hello, this is Coach Brenda Sims. I would like to say thanks to whoever congratulated me for winning with the Henderson Middle School basketball team, but I’d also like to make a correction on my name and the person that helped me coach. My name is Coach Brenda Sims, and my assistant coach is Regina Bever. Just wanted to make a correction, but thank you for the congratulations.”



“What Joe the Hobo said is the most important thing you’re gonna read all year. If you don’t know why, find out. Ask around.”



“Forget about casinos in Butts County. It ain’t gonna happen.”



“I would like to know why certain people are allowed to use old double-wides on their property and use them for people to live in or whatever. And then there’s other certain people that can’t do the same on their property.”



“Hello, Butts County. This is a concerned citizen. We need a turning signal on the traffic light coming from 36 East from the Four points area. There’s a lot of traffic there in the mornings and the afternoons, and especially when the school buses are going to school. They can’t get the children to school on time for that light. So why don’t somebody talk to the state about putting us a turning signal on from 36.”



“Wrote to Dick Cheney that my favorite politician is deserving the honor of going hunting with him.”



“This message goes out to the Shadow. I totally agree with your message about kids cussing. I believe it’s all in the raising of the child, and the parents are afraid to whip the child because they’ll get in trouble with the law.”



“Hello, Butts County. I know this is gonna sound like a strange question, but I was wondering if anybody out there knows of anybody that has pecans for sale. I’m really looking for them not in the shell.”



“My heroes have always been cowboys.”



“Hello, Butts County. I’m phoning it in from Madison, Wisconsin. I’m sitting here reading the menu, and it says here that George Takai said ‘well, ya know, Star Trek and the Starship Enterprise were supposed to be a metaphor for starship Earth. It was supposed to be an idealized representation of what our society should be.’ This other Asian guy named Lao Tze said, ‘fill your bowl to the brim, and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife, and it will blunt.’ What the heck is that supposed to mean? Keep it real, Butts County.”



“I want to know whose dog it is that barks all night long every night off Giles Ferry Road in Flovilla. My kids cannot sleep because of the barking dogs. We cannot sleep because of the barking dogs. Are we the only ones down here that hear it? Would the owner please do something about the dog?”