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Published: May 16, 2008 11:36 am    print this story   email this story   comment on this story  

Just Past the City Limits: Out of shape

By Mark Parker
Farm Talk (Parsons, Kan.)

The Top 10 signs you're out of shape:

10. You drop a wrench and go back to the work bench for another rather than bending down to pick it up.

9. Neighbors marvel at the fact that you stay in the saddle for hours on end but the truth is you have to keep riding ‘til you get to a stump you can use to get back on.

8. You tell the salesman you prefer the performance of full-size cars but the truth is you’re too stiff to get folded into one of those little ones.

7. The last time you walked more than 50 feet was the day before you got your driver’s license.

6. You tell your kids about how that cake you’re feeding the cows used to come in 100-lb. sacks—and give a silent prayer of thanks that they don’t anymore.

5. For the first 10 steps after crawling out of your easy chair, you’re about 6 inches shorter than normal.

4. You’ve become more selective about your boxer shorts since you can’t button up the sides of your bib overalls any more.

3. You throw your back out gathering the eggs.

2. Your criteria for trading tractors is the height of the first step and the type of cup-holder.

1. The cows have figured out that you’re the weak link in the sorting crew.

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